I talked to a guy today. Someone like me. Someone from my church. A gay Christian. I thought he might have answers but in the end he had more questions than I did.
He’s had a lot of pitied reactions to his coming out. some hostile ones as well from people he considered close friends.
He asked me today if it would always be like this.
I don’t know how to talk with him about this topic without him feeling more and more disconnected from our church. Because the truth of the matter is, he could walk away from his faith at any moment. He’s been going to church for five years. If I was in his position, the logical option would be to leave. But life is so much more complicated than that and I can see him battling with it.
One of the biggest regrets I ever had in life was bringing my ex boyfriend to church. Having him be open to the concept of God and Jesus. Him making a decision to accept the truth of the Bible. Only for us to face the roadblock that is, the stance on homosexuality my church has. Before I brought him to church he never had to deal with church-lead homophobia. I unwittingly put him in the firing line and because of that, I slowly watched as his faith fizzled out.
All these thoughts make me think again about whether I should leave my current church. If I stay I’m always putting myself in a position where I have to deal with homophobic people. But at the same time, if I leave, I’m leaving behind an opportunity to change minds, to impact people’s preconceptions. It all depends on whether I’m up for being that kind of activist.