Why Love is Important for Mixed-Race Queer People (And Everyone Else)

Why it is sometimes hard to love ourselves

…because we are taught that we are not valuable, that we are unpure, that we are not authentic enough

…because we are taught that to be “mixed‟ is to be weak and watered down

…because we are taught that to live between worlds means we have no place in the world

…because we are taught to hate ourselves, our bodies, and our sexuality

…because we are taught that to be “out‟ means we risk physical and psychic violence everyday, and we already feel confused and alienated enough as it is about our racial identity

…because we are taught that we must hide and conceal parts of ourselves, which weakens our possibilities for resistance

…because we are taught that if we don’t choose between inadequate categories, we will not be recognized or acknowledged

…because there are few stories or things written to validate our existence and experiences (because people pretend that that people who live between worlds and cross boundaries don’t exist)

…because people ask us “what we are‟ and don’t want to accept what we have to say (Are you a boy or a girl? Are you gay or straight? What race are you?)

…because when we are accepted, it is often for our “exotic‟ qualities or novelty

…because our ambiguous sexuality, gender presentation, or race makes people nervous

…because part of our identity may become subsumed under another part of our identity, and we lose part of our culture, language, and heritage

…because we may experience racism intimately, when one family member is racist towards another family member

…because we are sometimes banned from seeing part of our family because of racist attitudes

…because we sometimes lose access to our families altogether when we are open about our sexuality or gender identity


Hey people! I’m the guest moderator this week, and I wanted to share a piece of writing that has stuck with me over the years. This is an excerpt from Jackie Wang’s, “Memoirs of a Queer Hapa #2

A lot of us occupy multiple communities and struggle with navigating between them whether we are mixed-race, bicultural, or gay & Asian. It’s a rarity for “both” sides of us to be nurtured as a set, but at least the internet has made it a bit easier to find stories that represent more than just part of us.

tumifer/raspelfy (Thomas)


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